Before an election, our phone rings constantly as politicians intrude on our lives to solicit our votes.  I have no idea what they expect to accomplish, but I can conclude only that they are desperate, stupid, or both.  Nobody I know changes a vote based on a phone solicitation, and everyone is annoyed by these calls.

OK, I know this is a tired, old grumble because everybody seems to complain about these calls before every election.  That's what is puzzling about them.  If people keep saying that the calls are annoying, why do politicians keep making them?  Are they too busy blabbing to listen to us?  If a candidate I supported asked me to place phone calls on his or her behalf, I'd say:  "Are you really sure you want to do that?  Don't you know that these calls really tick people off?"

Anyway, we're dealing with them.  Ordinarily we take calls via a voice mail system that doesn't let us hear who's calling and requires us to call in to the system to sort through our messages.  When it's not election time, we usually answer the phone.  Around election time, however, we reconnect the answering machine.  Callers get a customized message:  "You have reached ____.  If you are soliciting for a Democrat, press 1.  If you are soliciting for a Republican, press 2.  If you are just soliciting, press 3.  Otherwise, please leave a message, and we'll call you back as soon as we can."  Political campaigners should get the message that we don't want to hear from them.  If they leave a message anyway or are dumb enough to follow our directions, we certainly don't want to vote for them.

The answering machine also permits us to hear an incoming call and intercept it.  Therefore, if I'm in the mood and the caller is a live campaign volunteer, I can pick up and launch into a long diatribe about how much I hate political phone calls.  This serves a dual purpose:  I get to let off steam, and it uses up time so that the volunteer makes fewer calls.

It's worth noting that, as of this writing, the phone calls have already influenced my vote in the New Jersey primary.  Though my wife and I are Independents, we're registered as Democrats and will therefore vote on the Democratic side of the ticket.  I've been leaning toward Barack Obama, but sometimes I've been tempted to go for Hillary Clinton instead.  The Clinton campaign's phone calls, which have been annoyingly numerous, have clinched the decision.  I will definitely vote for Obama – unless the Obama campaign also starts annoying me with phone calls.  Then I may switch parties and vote Republican.

Yes, I know this is a stupid basis on which to cast a vote.  However, politicians seem to think that their phone calls make me decide how to vote, and I would like to prove them right.  Those who most frequently call me on the phone won't get my vote.