Spring is the time of year when, in many areas, households host uninvited visitors of a lower order – and I'm not referring to the in-laws.  Whether one lives in a mansion or a rented room, insects of all sorts inevitably appear.  Among them are ants, crickets, roaches, and houseflies.

Many of these unwanted guests can be eliminated by sprays or traps.  The housefly, however, is particularly difficult to eliminate.  No matter how hard we try, no matter how tight our screens are, houseflies will zip in through a crack or an open door and buzz about, seeking a delicious gourmet meal of rotting food.

Short of hanging up flypaper, there are few ways to readily send a solitary housefly to the great garbage dump in the sky – and having flypaper hanging about hardly adds to the aesthetic appeal of one's homestead, especially when the flypaper is adorned with dead flies.  Fly swatters are of little avail.  With their multifaceted eyes and lightning-fast reflexes, flies often detect the object of their intended doom before it strikes and take off faster than a teenager in a hot car.

We have, however, devised a method of killing flies that is reasonably reliable, mercifully quick, and economical.  All it takes is a few good rubber bands and some practice.

Here's how it works.  Take five or six good rubber bands and fasten them together in a string.  Grasp one end of the string between the thumb and forefinger of one hand.  Using the other hand, pull back the string of rubber bands.  Now, when you spot a fly, line up the end that you're holding between your thumb and forefinger on the target (the fly).  This is your "gunsight."  Still holding that end, release the other end of the stretched rubber bands, which will spring forward and zap the fly.

It won't know what hit it.  One moment it will be preening itself on the countertop or kitchen table, dreaming about rotting meat or that sexy fly of the opposite sex with the big wings, and the next moment – squished into oblivion.

Of course, as I said, it takes practice.  You may first want to try zinging a few paperclips off the kitchen table.  Also, with any direct hit, you'll have to clean up the flysplat afterwards.  Masters of the art learn the "angle shot" or try to hit the fly when it's on the edge of something rather than on a flat surface.  The fly usually has to be stationary; it's a very lucky shot indeed when one manages to down an airborne fly.  Think of the rubber bands as a sniper's rifle, not as an antiaircraft gun.

Try it.  It's efficient, and it's kind of fun in a sick way.

P.S.  This technique also works with wasps, but one should hone one's expertise with flies first.   A wounded wasp is a very, very angry wasp.