May 17, 2008.  Cockeyed Optimism

One of the central themes in the book I'm working on, The Joy of Grumbling, is the danger of cockeyed optimism – the view that everything is going to turn out all right, no matter what.  (A variant on this viewpoint is that whatever happens is meant to happen.)  What's dangerous about this attitude is that it gives us a convenient rationalization for doing nothing, changing nothing, and sitting on our behinds waiting for all problems to work themselves out by themselves.

A recent speech by Senator John McCain has all the attributes of this view.  He seems to feel that everything will eventually work out in Iraq if we keep on doing what we are doing, that Osama bin Laden will be killed or captured (how is not explained), and that the economy will right itself just because it always does.  The Senator is an intelligent man, and the only reason I can fathom for this optimistic talk is that nobody who highlights problems and difficulties ahead can ever win the votes of the majority of Americans, who want to be optimistic – even when, deep down inside, they are not.

No sensible person can deny that we are experiencing difficult times in our nation and the world.  Quite simply, we have enormous problems and conflicts, a list of which should be unnecessary because many of them are obvious.  Many of the "solutions" we have tried did not work; some we are trying do not appear to be working.  This is no time to be falling back on a mantra of "stay the course," for that is the classic insanity of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Yes, we need hope that at least some of these difficulties can be overcome.  It's just as futile to say that everything is bad and bound to get worse as it is to say that everything will somehow work itself out.  Fatalism can be . . . well . . . fatal.  However, this is no time in history to indulge in the lazy rationalization that everything is fine when it isn't or that what is not fine is going to be miraculously self-correcting.

May 18, 2008.  The Turn of the Century

I suppose I better get used to the phrase "the turn of the century" as meaning relatively recently.  Rob Kyff, author of the syndicated column The Word Guy, remarks on hearing someone say that the last time he spoke to a certain group was "around the turn of the century," whereupon Mr. Kyff thought, "Boy, this guy is really old."  Then he recalled that the turn of the century (i.e., the beginning of the 21st) was a mere eight years ago.  Those of us who lived mostly in the 20th century are likely to think of "the turn of the century" as the end of the 19th – a very long time ago.

So let me get this straight in my head.  Our two oldest grandchildren were born shortly before the turn of the century.  I retired shortly after the turn of the century.  I went to college around the middle of the last century.  The car we just traded in was bought before the turn of the century.  Wow – I'm starting to feel really old.

May 28, 2008.  Wondering About Efficiency

Our local pharmacy called me last Friday.  The caller wanted to know whether I was ready to renew my prescrption for the daily pills I take for diabetes.  I was impressed.  Although I had planned to phone in a renewal after the weekend, this was the first time the pharmacy felt obliged to remind me.  This is obviously one of the advantages to them and me of having computerized records.  I thanked them and said I would be in to pick it up later in the evening.

A couple of hours later, however, the pharmacy called again.  It seems that they didn't have in stock the pills they had reminded me about.  I would have to wait until Tuesday because Monday was a holiday.  So much for super efficiency and electronic miracles.

On Tuesday, when I picked up these pills, I also dropped off another prescription.  My doctor had marked it for two renewals.  I picked up the pills later, but when I got home, I noticed that the container was marked, "Refills require authorization."  This was undoubtedly a human data-entry error, but since it's now in the computer, I may have to jump through hoops to get it corrected.  It will be easier to phone my doctor when the time comes and have him order a new prescription.

These were minor matters, but I believe that millions of such little events occur every day, raising the question of whether what we gain from technology and sophisticated databases isn't lost somewhere in the process.  We all know that anything that somehow gets into a computer system incorrectly can be the very devil to get corrected.  It starts as a human error, probably spawns more mistakes as the computer works with faulty data, and then we're told that nothing can be done because "that's what the computer says."

Computers are getting "smarter"; humans are not.  Computers can do complex calculations in a flash.  How many young people today can calculate a simple multiplication or percentage problem in their heads or, for that matter, on paper – without a calculator?  If they hit a wrong key and produce some outlandish answer, how many have sufficient mathematical intelligence to sense that it's wrong?

I am amused when people speak about "computer errors," as if the machine became distracted by thoughts of its Saturday night date and forgot what it was supposed to do.  Computers don't make mistakes.  If someting goes wrong, the odds are a thousand to one that it's the fault of the sentient two-legged being who is using it.  I suppose some geek could explain that computers do have glitches when all the 1's and 0's get confused or circuits develop the electronic equivalent of a nervous breakdown, but, generally speaking, computers do what we tell them to do.  If we tell them the wrong thing, they do the wrong thing.  That's not a computer error; its ours.

Indeed, we have become so convinced of computers' infallibility, that we take on faith whatever the machine produces.  We forget that it is only as reliable as its programmer or operator.  If a computer program has a glitch – and many do – it's not the computer's fault; the programmer created the glitch.

Like many computer owners, I have a plaque underneath my computer monitor that reads, "Lord, give me the strength to get along with computers."  That's not really fair to the machine.  It should read:  "Lord, give me the patience to tolerate the dumb mistakes that the makers of this machine made, the glitches that the programmers overlooked in the software, and the idiocy of people who abuse technology by sending me thousands of bits of spam.  Help me to understand that, when it crashes (as it almost inevitably will), it's not doing it to spite me.  I probably wouldn't work right either if somebody swore at me as often as I swear at the computer."