Return to Index

The Grumpy Grammarian

Is Wordiness "Wrong"?

I explain to my class that "due to the fact that" is a roundabout way of saying "because," and a student comments, "But it isn't wrong."

How should I respond?  No, it isn't wrong in the sense that "I have did my homework" and "Me are grouchy" are wrong, but "due to the fact that" is an inefficient way of saying "because."  By themselves, most wordy phrases seem harmless, but the cumulative effect of a wordy style is to make writing inefficient, boring, and sometimes unclear.

Conciseness requires effort.  Its opposite – wordiness – suggests that the writer is too lazy, too insensitive, or too inconsiderate of the reader to make this effort.  The reader has the right to be annoyed.  Indeed, readers should not be blamed if they stop reading.  Sometimes student essays begin like this:  "In the modern world of today, it is my opinion that it is necessary for each and every one of us to gain and acquire a way of treating our fellow human beings, whoever they may be, in a courteous and tolerant manner."  If that were anything but a student essay that I am obligated to read and grade, I would dump it into the wastebasket immediately.  I know that I'm in for about 500 words of verbiage, the contents of which could perhaps be stated in 100 words.

Here are some of the phrases that student writers love to use.

a very large / small number of.  Many / very many or [a] few / very few would be more concise.

am/are of the opinion that . . . .  Believe that or think that is sufficient.

as to whether.  Whether covers it.

at the present time / at this point in time / in this day and age.  Why not today?  And, if it's quite clear that the context is now (and not sometime in the past or future), why state the obvious?

basic fundamentals.  The fundamentals are, by definition, basic.  Just write fundamentals or basics.

bring to a conclusion.  Do you mean end?  conclude?  finish?  complete?  Pick the most appropriate verb.
[Wordy verbs are common in student essays.  They don't argue anything; they "carry on an argument" (and other people "proceed to argue").  They don't decide anything; they "make a decision."  They don't analyze anything; they "make an analysis" or "conduct an analysis" of it.  They don't consider anything; they "take it under [or into] consideration."  They don't refer to anything; they "make reference to" it.  Or, if they do refer, they always "refer back" – apparently not realizing that it's impossible to refer forward.]

by and large.  This usually means "overall," "in general," or "generally."  (Some students write it as "by in large," which makes no sense at all.) 

came to the realization.  Another wordy verb phrase.  Realized is sufficient.

each and every.  "Each person" and "every person" have the same meaning (or, as my students write, they are "one and the same").  We don't need "each and every person."

in my own personal opinion.  Good grief!  Obviously, your opinion is your own, and it's unlikely that you have an impersonal opinion.  Some writers even add "I think" to be certain that the (stupid) reader understands that what is about to be said is their "own personal opinion."

in order to.  We may sometimes need "in order" for clarity but usually "to" is sufficuent, as in, "You need a knowledge of trigonometry [in order] to solve these problems."

in the event that.  In most cases, if is all we need.

in the modern world of today and in today's modern society.  Never mind that the context usually implies that we are writing about the present and about the world or our society (not Mars or some alien culture).  We certainly are not writing about the ancient world of today or the modern world of yesterday.

it is my belief / my opinion that.  Just write, "I believe" or "I think."  [There may be no need to insert this at all, especially if it is clear that the essay is one's opinion.]

large in size.  What else would something be large in?  Color?  Shape?  The people who write "large in size" also tend to write such phrases as "blue in color" and "round in shape."

when it comes to.  This phrase is often redundant or may be replaced by one word (usually a preposition).  For example, "When it comes to oil, we are far too dependent on other countries" = "We are far too dependent on other countries for oil."  "Hollywood sets a bad example when it comes to morality" = "Hollywood sets a bad example regarding morality."  "When it comes to money, I don't care" = "I don't care about money."  A search for "when it comes to" on Google yields thousands of examples of redundancy, some from headlines (which are supposed to be terse).

whether or not.  This redundancy may be less offensive than most, but "or not" is often unnecessary, as in, "I am unsure whether I will pass this class or not" and "I am unsure whether or not I will pass this class."

We invite readers to join the "Down with Deadwood" campaign submit their own examples of annoying roundabout expressions.  (Please use the Message Board.)