The Grumpy Grammarian

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Words matter.  This axiom is true not only for those of us whose interests or expertise lies in the study of words but for everyone who uses language.

This observation does not apply only to the meaning of words.  They have an impact far beyond their dictionary definition (denotation).  Words such as abracadabra aren't the only ones that possess magical powers.  Even ordinary words, sometimes alone but mostly in combination or context, evoke reactions and emotions far beyond what one should logically expect of something that is, scientifically speaking, merely a sound or combination of sounds made by the vocal cords or a series of symbols created by some sort of writing device.

Words can inspire us or lull us to sleep, enrage or please us, cause us to think more clearly or confuse us, arouse fears or give us comfort, motivate us to act or prevent us from acting, make us laugh or cry.  The old saying that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me" is, in fact, not true.  Verbal criticism or epithets cause us pain, albeit emotional rather than physical pain, and also affect our feelings about the person who levels the criticism or hurls the epithet.

Even more remarkable is that words having the same or similar meanings can elicit quite different emotions and reactions.  Amazing as it is that we readily associate objects and ideas (sometimes very complex ideas) with sounds and symbols, it is even more astonishing that we instantly react differently to words with only subtly different denotations.  We can explain why we react differently to various tones of voice; it's probably a combination of genetic programming, evolution, and conditioning.  Even domesticated animals do that.  However, the reasons for such strikingly different responses to words that are only slightly different in meaning remain a mystery despite all the efforts of psychologists and linguists to explain how and why we do this.

Most people don't think about the magic of words very much.  Although language isn't as automatic as, say, breathing or eating, we take it – and all of its magical powers – rather much for granted.  It is more like using our legs to get around and using our hands to grasp things – something we learn to do at a very early age and rarely, if ever, think about thereafter.  As very young children, we may be fascinated by word play, but we soon grow out of it.  By the time we are adults and our vocabulary has expanded to include hundreds or thousands of words, we blithely accept the mysterious subtleties of words and language as the way things are.  Unfortunately, as with almost anything we take for granted, we stop thinking about how language works and how to use it properly.

One consequence of taking words and language for granted is that we begin to believe such myths as the idea that how we use words doesn't matter as long as what we say or write is broadly understood.  We fail to observe that many an idea has been distorted, and many a relationship damaged, because we did not choose our words carefully.  Perhaps we used words that were incorrect according to their dictionary definition.  More likely, however, the misunderstanding was caused by a failure to be precise and by overlooking subtle differences in what words say or imply.  The speaker or writer may have intended to express one thought, but, because of variant shades of meaning, the listener or reader may have received a different message – or one containing unintended emotional overtones.

The influence of words depends not only on whether they are the right words (denotatively) to express something but whether they are the best words.  Even with something as straightforward as description, our success (or lack of it) in conjuring up the desired image will depend on our choice of words, even when the available words have similar meanings.  We may describe as person as handsome, cute, attractive, sexy, good-looking, or any of a number of other words and create slightly different images.  Whether we are angry, annoyed, infuriated, irked, peeved, overwrought, furious, wrathful, or beside ourselves makes a difference.

The words we choose say something about us as well.  Someone has said that people who regularly use profanity or obscenity betray deficiencies in their vocabulary.  That may or may not be true, but it does show a limited ability to make an emphatic point.  Relying on "cuss words" (which are all too common and automatic) certainly reveals a lack of creativity.  After a while, obscenity loses its impact and becomes merely annoying, like the person who shouts too much or never modulates tone of voice.  Interestingly, since my "lecture" voice in the classroom is normally rather strong, I have found that one way to get a class to perk up and listen is to lower my voice.  The same effect may be achieved by using more refined but still strong words in an environment where everyone else is swearing profusely.  It gets attention. 

Similarly, our words may suggest how educated we are.  This does not mean that we should use the fanciest, rarest, or most obscure words we know.  In fact, if we do, the impression we are likely to give is that we are unduly impressed by our own intelligence and importance.  Pretentious snobs are easy to spot because they identify themselves by pretentious language.  On the other hand, people who use words aptly gives the impression of caring that other people understand them.  We all admire the individual who is capable of pith one-liners and creative turns of a phrase.  Their words identify these people as "smart."  

Consider the example of Cyrano de Bergerac, in the popular play by Edmond Rostand.  Both Cyrano and his friend Christian love the beautiful Roxanne, but Cyrano is cursed with an unattractive appearance (a very, very large nose) whereas Christian is inept with the words he needs for courtship.  Cyrano, on the other hand, is a poet who possesses a remarkable gift for words and can use them sincerely because he loves the lady but knows he hasn't a chance with her because of his appearance.  Thus, under cover of darkness, Cyrano courts Roxanne, pretending to be Christian.  His words win her heart.

Ultimately, then, how we express ourselves projects an image of what kind of people we are – perhaps enough to overcome whatever impression our outward looks may give.  At the risk of sounding sexist, I must admit that, as a young man, I was often attracted to stunningly beautiful young women (what heterosexual young man isn't?).  Then, the young woman would open her mouth and instantly reveal that she was a ditz.  My interest would wane at once – or become limited to a purely hormonal drive.  No matter how compelling her other attributes were, I immediately ruled out the possibility of any long-term relationship.

One way or another, our words define us – often in subtle ways.  How we present ourselves verbally is, in the end, as important as how we look or dress.  No, we don't need to go through life always dressed in verbal tuxedos.  In many situations, such formality is not appropriate.  However, if we "dress" ourselves as verbal slobs, people may well infer that we are slobs.  Our constantly imprecise, incorrect, or unrefined language casts doubt upon everything from our intelligence to our character.  Words matter.